Adventure 10/52: Slow i n g d o w n
Wish I could always be in vacation mode...
Veggies: Post-run green juices are rocking my world lately.
Wine: I am such a slacker. My wines of the month have been available for a week now, but I'm at home sipping on some cheap Spanish red.
So, I haul a$$. There's just no other way to say it. Doesn't matter if I have a destination or not, I walk like I needed to be there FIVE MINUTES AGO, people. Outta my way!
If I had to pinpoint where this all started, my guess is college. Far from overprotective parents, I could finally walk places after dark, all by my lonesome. Since I'm five feet tall on a good day, I realized I needed to adopt a don't-mess-with-me glare and accompanying pace. It also helped me get to my 8 am Calculus class, give or take a few minutes.
A few weeks ago I realized that this mad rush is not limited to my gait ... it's taken over my entire life. It's not unusual for me to drive 20 miles over the speed limit on my way to work. I practically attack the keyboard when I'm typing emails. I often find myself taking the first chance to end a conversation, in person and on the phone. This is a rather embarrassing discovery for a yogini to make. It's not like I can't be mindful and move through life with intention, but it's sadly just not my default mode.
In an effort to reset my internal speedometer, I spent a few weeks in slow mode. (Because just a few days would be rushing things, right?!) I intentionally picked the slowest grocery line, walked behind the slowest person possible on the path from the parking garage to my office, lingered over a discussion, and drove the speed limit. When I remembered, and when I felt like I could do so without losing my mind.
This was by far the toughest adventure I've undertaken, and probably my least successful one in terms of accomplishing my goal. I did make some important observations:
-Because I'm so used to rushing, I place myself in situations that force me to continue in that pattern ... I sleep in, I leave my office a few minutes after I should for a meeting, I leave my house later than I should to get somewhere ... the list goes on.
-Even so, most of my rushing is habitual rather than necessary. Do I really have to speed-walk to the kitchenette to wash my apple for lunch?
-That pop-up window in Outlook that alerts me to new email is PURE EVIL! The best outcome of this adventure is that I finally took a few minutes to figure out how to turn it off. I still see the little envelope icon when new email comes in, but it's less distracting.
I'd like to say this adventure has a happy ending, but it's too early to say. At least I'm more aware of when I'm rushing, and feel a little more inclined to stop myself when it's unnecessary. I even called in well this morning so I could take a walk with my dog, practice yoga, and sit outside to journal. Maybe there is hope for me.